is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
