I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
