he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
