I can tuck mytits in my pants
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
