Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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