Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
