Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
