I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
