I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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