In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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