I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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