i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
