I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
