is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
