I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
