I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
