I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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