He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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