ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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