One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
