The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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