happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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