I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Randomize
