I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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