Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
