addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
