I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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