this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
two words...techno handjob
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
