Don't you send me to vm
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
