woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
well you can't waste a boner
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He shit in the fireplace
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
