It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize