I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
