I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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