This dress was meant to end up on your floor
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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