Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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