Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize