Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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