If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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