I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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