The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
