Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
