i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
