you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize