Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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