Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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