i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize