I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
