yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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