kristin has been a bad kristin
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
