you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize