ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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