So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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