Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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