so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
