So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
