Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
